It’s that time again! In most places (in the northern hemisphere) the air gets cooler and crisper. Everything seems to be apples and cinnamon or pumpkin and spice. The leaves are changing colors. Time to wear a comfy sweater or jacket. In my opinion the holiday season starts with Halloween and Autumn is the best time of the year! And what can make it even better? A good laugh. Here are some Autumn jokes I’ve collected. I hope they bring a smile to your face or at least invoke some great memories!
An Apple A Day
Q: What kind of apple loves the beach?
A: A crab apple.
Q: What kind of apple throws the best parties?
A: Gala apples.
Q: Why did Johnny Appleseed cross the road?
A: To get to the other cider.
Q: How much did the boy like eating the apple?
A: All the way to his core.
Q: What’s even worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm.
Q: What’s the best way to look for an apple?
A: Keep your eyes peeled.
Q: What do you get when you eat too many apple cider donuts?
A: You get autumny ache.
Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Hannah.
Hannah who?
Hannah me one of those apples. I’m hungry!
Every Pumpkins Can Be A Jack-o-Lanterns
Q: How do you surprise a pumpkin?
A: You catch them off-gourd.
Q: What does a jack-o-lantern wear after it gets poked in the eye?
A: A pumpkin patch.
Q: When should you make a jack-o-lantern?
A: Whenever you can carve out the time.
Q: How do you get a pumpkin pie to blush?
A: Say, “I have a crust on you.”
Q: How did the pumpkin become a social media influencer?
A: They started getting big on Vine.
Q: What do you use to mend a jack-o’-lantern?
A: A pumpkin patch.
Q: Why don’t Jack-o-Lanterns play poker with pumpkins?
A: It’s impossible to read their faces.
Q: What did the pumpkin say the day before Thanksgiving?
A: I guess it’s time to say good-pie.
Q: What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
A: Squash.
Q: Why don’t Jack-o-Lanterns trust pumpkins?
A: Because pumpkins are seedy.
When The Leaves Start To Fall
Q: What’s a tree’s favorite drink?
A: Root beer.
Q: What’s the best kind of tree joke?
A: Acorny one.
Q: Why did the oak tree take a nap?
A: For rest.
Q: What did the acorn say to the nosy squirrel?
A: There’s nuttin’ to see here.
Q: Why didn’t the maple tree trust the pine tree?
A: Because it was unbe-leaf-able.
Q: What is a tree’s least favorite month?
A: Sep-timber
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Leaf.
Leaf who?
Leaf me alone, I’m trying to tell a joke!
Everybody Loves A Scarecrow
Q: Why is it so hard to make a scarecrow?
A: Because you are just grasping at straws.
Q: Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
Q: Why didn’t the scarecrow eat dinner?
A: He was already stuffed.
Harvest Time
Q: Why did the tiny pepper wear a sweater?
A: Because it was a little chili.
Q: Why can’t you tell secrets on a farm?
A: Because the corn has ears.
Q: What type of vehicle should you use for a fall hayride?
A: An autumn-mobile!
Q: What do you call a small pepper in late autumn?
A: A little chili.
Q: What has ears but can’t hear a thing?
A: A cornfield.
Happy Halloween!
Q: When do you know someone is a ghost?
A: The first time you see them walk through a door.
Q: What do you call a black bird in a zombie costume?
A: A scare-crow.
Q: Which vampire is good at math?
A: Count Dracula.
Q: What instrument does a skeleton play?
A: The trombone.
Q: What did the cannibal say on Halloween?
A: “Trick or Feet!”
Q: What do you call a haunted chicken?
A: A poultry-geist.
Q: Which monster loves to do the twist?
A: The boogeyman.
Q: What do ghosts like to put in their oatmeal?
A: Boo-berries.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Is Annie body home? I want some candy!
Everyday Should Be Thanksgiving
Q: Why did the butter keep telling jokes?
A: Because he was on a roll.
Q: Why did the piecrust go to the dentist?
A: Because it needed a filling.
Q: What did the pie say to the plate?
A: “You wanna’ piece of me?”
Q: What kind of key can’t open doors?
A: Turkey
Q: Why did the cranberry sauce cross the road?
A: To get to the other sides.
Q: What happened when the turkey got in a fight?
A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ida.
Ida who?
Ida know about you, but I’m hungry!
More Autumn Goodies
Q: Why does Humpty Dumpty love the end of summer?
A: Because he always has a great fall.
Q: How can you tell when winter is here?
A: It’s after autumn leaves.
Q: Why was the basketball player splashing coffee everywhere?
A: Because he was dunking cider doughnuts.
Q: Why do birds fly south in the fall?
A: It’s too far to walk.
Q: What’s the most adorable season of them all?
A: Awwwtumn.
So, are you smiling? Did you recall any great Autumn memories? I hope so! I also hope this season brings you fun, laughter, great new memories and tons of amazing food!
Oh, one more thing. I’m sorry for saying Autumn and Fall. I use both interchangeably, and I never know which is correct. Let me know how you feel about it.
In the mood for some Fall quotes and sayings?
Have a fun filled Fall!
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